Fifty Shades of Vegan: "Glue for Dinner"

Another from the Fifty Shades of Vegan series. I wrote this roughly 12 months ago, after investigating the environmental impact of gelatin. What I discovered concerned me more for animal welfare than environmental impact. They use every last scrap of animal to make gelatin. It's pretty fucked.

But then again, shit - maybe if they're already killing a cow for it's meat, maybe the rest of that cow should at least be used for something??? Ugh, who knows. 

It'd be much better if the cow never has to die in the first place, and people realise you can easily get the equivalent protein, less fat and more fiber from lentils rather than beef. And with a fraction of the environmental footprint. And with no animal welfare concerns at all. *Sigh* 

p.s. I definitely am that guy in Woolworths now. *another sigh*


Officially one of the most messed up substances humans have discovered/invented in the history of ever. Ain’t gonna be eating it ever again, not that upset about it.

I didn’t take too long to come to a definitive conclusion about immediately reducing my future gelatin consumption to zero. I had a loose idea of what it is, and I knew it wasn’t gonna be too pleasant to learn about. 

First thing I did was google “what is gelatin”. I encourage you to do the same. Nay, I dare you.

See? Fucked! 

Not only is it made from animal offcuts, but how on earth can the same thing can be used in food as well as photographic processes and glue?! It honestly astounds me. And google was being nice about it too. I found out it’s also used in firearms testing/ballistics, hair gel, cosmetic creams, printer ink, sandpaper, match heads and fucking paintballs (not sure why but that last one really got to me). 

Yet I've eaten a shitload of it in my time. I bet you have too. It’s so unspeakably gross.

In my reading I came across several articles discussing one significant problem in particular - concern regarding the inclusion of bones from cows suffering from bovine spongiform encephalitis. Oh, by the way that’s mad cow disease. BONES FROM COWS WITH MAD COW DISEASE, GOING INTO THE FOOD WE EAT. WTF. And the upshot: various governmental agencies have deemed it ‘safe’. I’m sorry, I care less about how safe it is than I do about how simply fucking disgusting that is. Ugh. Makes me literally shudder while I write. 

The good news is that it appears there is a variety of synthetic collagen equivalents being produced by folks in white jackets much cleverer than the rest of us. I’m thankful for this because I love jelly, and it’s almost too sad a thought to think that I may have eaten my last wobbly, glorious bowl of the stuff without appreciating it. 

But again, dichotomy prevails as I am also equally disgusted with how much gelatin I have consumed in my lifetime (not just jelly… well, lots of jelly but not only that) without even realising it, let alone knowing what it is. 

So yep, gelatin is one thing I’m gonna be hardcore vegan about. I don’t want to sustain it's production in any capacity, so it will extend beyond food. It’s dawned on me that I’m gonna become one of the gormless dickheads who takes a minimum three hours in Woolies because I’m reading the contents of everything I buy. Its annoying how I can be aware of this becoming a problem for me, yet I know my brain well enough to realise I am powerless to stop myself doing it. 

Ahh veganism, you just keep on delivering don’tcha. Cheers.